The Conjuring: Last Rites
Director: Michael Chaves
Cast: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Mia Tomlinson and Ben Hardy.
Warner Brothers
3.5/5
Something has to be said for a good viral campaign.
In the months leading up to the premiere of The Conjuring: Last Rites, paranormal investigator Dan Rivera died while on tour with the Annabelle doll in July, and the Warrens’ home was sold in August.
Much like an uninvited plus-one, Annabelle came with the house, landing in the hands of comedian Matt Rife and YouTube personality Elton Castee. And for the record, I doubt the sudden death of Rivera was part of any marketing scheme or the result of Annabelle.
Still, colour me suspicious when I hear the so-called final Conjuring flick smashed global box office records with a $194-million opening weekend — the biggest ever for a horror movie. It’s almost as if someone cut a deal with the devil. And yes, I saw The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It. Let’s just say, I wasn’t compelled by it.
The whole buildup and release of this Warren send-off feels like the Warrens’ own legacy: steeped in controversy.
Many moons ago, when I was agog with paranormal glee, I spoke with Ed and Lorraine on the phone while I was in university. The line was staticky, and I remember Ed saying, “Well, you know who you are talking to,” followed by a wry laugh.
I was writing a little paranormal column (“Paranormal Frontiers”) for New College’s student newspaper, The Window. That’s why I called the number on the New England Society for Psychic Research’s website back in 2001.
Years later, in 2018, I interviewed Tony Spera about Annabelle and how a Raggedy Ann doll got a Hollywood glow-up. I also chatted with Canadian actor Shannon Kook, who played one of the Warrens’ loyal tech guys in the first film. And yes, I managed to creep past 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville in July 2001.
So, you can imagine my internal conflict sitting through a now bloated supernatural horror movie that wallops you with crucifixes like Earnie Shavers throws haymakers.
But it tracks. The movie focuses on the Smurls, the West Pittston family whose lurid haunting I devoured in The Haunted as a teen. That book scared the hell out of me. So, when a fourth Conjuring film was announced, I had a hunch it would put them in the ring.
The source material offers way more to chew on than the limp 1991 TV movie with Sally Kirkland and Jeffrey DeMunn.
Last Rites starts by padding out the Warrens’ family origin story — Lorraine, pregnant with Judy, investigating an antique shop before a hospital dash.
I won’t spoil everything, but it’s heavy on the miraculous. Let’s just say my eyes got more of a workout than my soul.
From there, the film fumbles with a disjointed structure that kills the tension. Lorraine’s mediumship gets passed down to Judy, and Tony Spera becomes a more fleshed-out character. That part works, even if it’s a little saccharine.
Still, the Warrens were big on family, and that thread ties all four films together: a large family, facing evil, united by faith — with Ed flipping pancakes (sometimes waffles) for dinner.
He passes his wisdom down to Tony, who told me in our interview about those early conversations with Ed. And yes, the real Tony Spera has a cameo in the movie. Easy to spot if you know him.
I loved the magic of the first Conjuring. It felt fresh, launching a renaissance of supernatural horror. But the sequels? Phoned in. At best, they romanticize the Warrens’ work. At worst, they gloss over the harm, depending on who you ask in paranormal circles.
The series leans hard into its religious motif. It clings to its nuclear family theme. And when evil finally gets clobbered — though this time without a name — we get a wedding: Judy and Tony’s. Yay.
To crank up all that sweetness, all the families the Warrens “helped” show up: the Perrons, the Hodgsons (jetting in from England no less) and the Glatzels.
It’s like Jennifer Connelly seeing all her Labyrinth friends at the end — saccharine and a little surreal.
As a teen, I ate up the Warrens’ tales with a giant spoon. But after an archaeology undergrad and a journalism career, I can’t help but be more skeptical. And the fact that this is all part of a $2.5 billion horror movie series? Even more dubious.
It all lands differently. Like a dazed boxer, or an ad campaign that tries to seize social media spotlight.